I'm not one to normally participate in those e-mail chains. Really. In fact years ago, I famously flamed a sister-in-law, CC:'ing ALL of the people who she'd sent the you-never-know-it-might-be-true e-mail about Microsoft paying people to test an e-mail tracking program. Even offered to write a check for $1,000 to anyone who could provide proof of being paid for such. Surprisingly, I never had to write that check <fake shock>. Not surprisingly, I didn't get any more of those e-mails from her.
And I've been know to have a choice word for the "forward this e-mail if you love Jesus" e-mails. (For the life of me, I can't find that one in the Bible.) Sooooo....I'm somewhat of a Capt. Poo-Poo when it comes to those sorts of things.
That cold hardness aside, a month or two ago, I did participate in a questionnaire e-mail with some of Angie's family. But I don't do the whole "forward it to 10 of your other friends" bit. I just send it to the distribution list that was on it when I got the note. In some cases, it lets them know a little bit about me. But in most cases, my answers are strictly geared to make them laugh. That's me; forever the ham...
Yesterday, I received one of these questionnaire from Angie, who had received it from my daughter. It had 25 Christmas-related questions. Angie posted the answers to hers on her blog, so I thought I'd do the same. I've tweaked a couple of the answers a little bit here and there, to bring them closer to achieving their maximum comic potential.
If my answers help you understand more about me, that's cool. If they gives you a chuckle, that's even cooler.
01. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Wrapping paper.
02. Real tree or Artificial?
Artificial. I only have to buy it one time (and I'm cheap...uhm...frugal), and it's less mess/hassle. Both good-goods.
03. When do you put up the tree?
When I get good and ready, dagnabbit! And you darned kids get off my lawn!!! (Seriously...no set time; sometimes around Thanksgiving, sometimes a little after. This year...a little before.)
05. Do you like eggnog?
Nope. Unless it tastes EXACTLY like Mountain Dew. That would be totally awesome.
06. Favorite gift received as a child?
This is an easy one. A BB gun, with which I shot my older sister. In the butt. Yeah...good times.
07. Hardest person to buy for?
My Mom & Dad. What gift could possibly top having me? <blink-blink>
08. Easiest person to buy for?
Veronica.
09. Do you have a nativity scene?
No. Well...via Angie....yes.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
Mail, because they're a little easier to use in person at the store. For instance, I've received WalMart gift cards via e-mail, but I either have to use them online, or convert them to a physical card to use at the store. Oh wait...that question meant just regular Christmas cards, didn't it?
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
A 80's-ish sweater (given in the mid-to-late 90's) that screamed out "THE GIVER OF THIS GIFT APPARENTLY DOESN'T KNOW ME VERY WELL...AND HAS NO FASHION SENSE."
12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
It's not even close. "A Christmas Story" wins by a leg...lamp. So many quotable moments. ("You'll shoot your eye out"..."Dad's gonna kill Ralphie"..."Must be Eye-talian. Says Fra-gee-lay"..."FUDGE!!! (The queen mother of all dirty words)", and countless others.
13. When do you start shopping?
Usually not soon enough. I'm trying to get started earlier this year...but I say that every year.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Only White Elephant gifts. My sense of personal integrity is way too high to consider doing that for anything else. (Or if I did recycle, I wouldn't admit to it, lest one of the recipieints of this note received such a re-gift.)
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
No absolute favorite; I like alot of Christmas food. Turkey/chicken and dressing w/cranberry sauce is always a winner.
16. Lights on the tree?
Yep-yep. Gotta do something with all my extra cash, and supporting the families of electric company employees - especially during the holidays - seems downright noble.
17. Favorite Christmas song?
Don't have ONE favorite. Like a lot of songs (I actually have Steve Wonder singing Ave Maria, if you can believe it), but only versions that aren't lame. (That is according to my definition of lame. ...and I reserve the right to change my definition of lame. Yo.)
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
I'm trying to get in the mode of traveling less around Thanksgiving/Christmas. That goal is either complicated or helped (depending on your perspective) by the time I split with the kids with their Mom. Luckily, my family is coming here for Christmas before we head to MO. So...I'll get all of the perks of spending it with extended family, while not having to travel to both.
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's?
Let's see...Pookie, Earl, Shah-NayNay, Bubba, Lil' Bow-Wow, Lil Brudder, Shaniqua...I'm drawing a blank on the rest of them, so I guess my answer is "no".
20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
As a kid we always had a star. As an adult, I can only remember having an angel. I'm good with either. Or a picture of Captain Kangaroo.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
A Christmas purist would probably say Christmas morning, but the eternal kid in me always wants to open presents early.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
Trying to balance family, community, and work activities. And the super-congestion of the last minute shoppers (like me). It only compounds the stress of what should be a peaceful time, and that bites.
23. Favorite ornament theme or color?
Balls. (Write your own jokes.)
24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?
See my answer to #15.
25. What do you want for Christmas this year?
Not sure. I'm still building my list (thanks to Angie for suggestiong Kaboodle). I need to get a hobby that's conducive to gifting, don't I?
No, I don't know what happened to question #4. This list of Q's is exactly as they were in the e-mail.
I could see this list as a sneaky way of finding out what to get someone for Christmas. 1-24 are cool for a personality profile, but #25 is the real kicker there.
By the way, Jim, I don't think I'll be visiting you for Christmas this year. Not sure I could handle a balls color themed tree.
Posted by: Darren McDonald | November 20, 2008 at 04:33 PM